PoP: Justin Bieber Someday

Mimi ON Oct 27, 2011 AT 10:14 am

By Katie Puckrik

The day I scored my sample of Someday, the fragrance fronted by teen-scream-dream-hot-lesbian-hairdo-on-a-stick Justin Bieber, I was in a Sephora swarming with wild-eyed 11 year olds. Several moms were bringing in groups of girls for a tween day out, and the kids were busy inventing unholy new applications for Nars Night Porter eyeshadow, Orgasm blush, and Vulva lipgloss. (Okay, so there’s not really a Vulva lipgloss…not yet, anyway.)

In a gleefully sinister ritual straight out of a 70s horror movie, the girls were gathered around one of the mothers, intently coloring in her face as she knelt obediently in the aisle.

“Make her lips black!” shrieked one of the would-be Suspiria extras.

“Put that bright green on her cheeks!” squealed another.

Then everything went a bit Lord of the Flies as they turned on each other, scribbling and smearing chaotic shades all over their playmates’ faces. Glitter, bronzer, blusher knew no boundaries as flawless kiddy complexions became banshee patchwork quilts.

Loving Justin hurts so good

Loving Justin hurts so good

“Oh girls…girls! Girls!” came the voice of an intervening angel, in her earthly form as the Sephora sales associate. Banshee patchwork faces turned expectantly towards the angel. Might she be next in line for black lips and green cheeks?

“Girls…” trilled the angel. “Who wants to smell Justin Bieber’s perfume?”

She held the purple bottle aloft, poised to spritz. In the hush that descended as the kids processed this miraculous possibility, you could practically hear the demons whooshing back to their brimstone lair.

“Justin Bieber!” the girls cried as one. “Me me me me me me me meeeeeeeee!”

They stampeded away from the scrawled-upon mom, clamoring for their individual Bieber benediction. The angel obliged, spraying every little girl with a purifying burst of buttery caramel popcorn, berries and white musk. As the tweens softly oohed and cooed in their communion with the Bieb, the black-lipped mom smiled gratefully at the angel.

Buy at www.theperfumeshop.com from £22.50.

For more of Katie’s rants and rambles, visit www.katiepuckriksmells.com

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