Puckrik on Perfume: Office Perfume Etiquette (part 2)
Mimi ON Jun 04, 2010 AT 12:16 pm
“Yeah, so give me some recommendations for a new perfume. I don’t like powdery, I don’t like flowery, I don’t like smoky.”
I looked balefully at the selection of powdery, flowery, smoky perfumes I’d brought for the show. She picked up the bottle closest to her. It was Mona di Orio Nuit Noir. In my head, I was screaming a slow-motion, action-thriller-style “Noooooooooooooooooo!” as she leaned in to sniff the nozzle. I was too late to head off her trout tampon horror at Nuit Noir’s tropical diaper jasmine jungle allure. Her grimace was a perfect dupe of the Greek tragedy mask.
I clumsily retrieved the bottle from her hands.
“I don’t think that’s, uh, something you would really…uh, like.”
The producer shook the stank free, then got a wistful look in her eye.
“I just want a guy to smell my perfume and not ever want to leave.”
Jesus! I didn’t want the hypothetical guy to leave, either. Don’t leave my producer, mister! And what would keep him close? Vanilla? I bet vanilla would keep him close. A bit of musk in there? But not smoky or powdery! Maybe a bit of fruit would be okay.
I wondered if Body Shop Love Etc would fit the bill. It was youthful, vanillic, sensual but fresh. No tampons or trout were harmed in the making of Love Etc.
I didn’t really have anything with me that would fit the bill, but I figured she might go for Bond No. 9 Chinatown, what with its jaunty mix of peachy sweetness and patchouli spice. Scarred by the Nuit Noir experience, she took a tentative sniff. Her tension melted.
“Oh, this is kind of nice. It’s different, though….” She sprayed some on.
“It is different. But I like it.” She went for a couple more sprays. I got a little worried, because I’d just given my on-air spiel about going easy on perfume at work, and there she was spritzing a cloud of hardcore Bond No. 9 baby diva perfume in the middle of a newsroom.
The producer started playing with the cool loup/saddle stirrup Voyage d’Hermès bottle.
“Is this for guys or girls?” asked the producer. “Oh, unisex?”
She took a long appreciative sniff of the nozzle.
“Mmmmmmm! I would totally date a guy who wore this. Totally date him.”
Now all she needed was the right perfume to make the guy not ever want to leave.
For more of Katie’s fragrance rants and rambles, visit KatiePuckrikSmells at: www.katiepuckriksmells.com
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