2008 Awards: Part 1

Mimi ON Dec 29, 2008 AT 12:47 pm

Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi Lauper

The George W. Bush Memorial Words of Wisdom Award

In fond remembrance of the outgoing linguistical lummox that spent some of his time running the most powerful country in the world and most of it talking guff. Here are some contenders that might take his crown in 2009.

“If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.” Cyndi Lauper on AIDS.

“All of ‘em, any of ‘em that have been in front of me over all these years.” Sarah Palin, when asked what newspaper or magazine she reads.

“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” Britney Spears

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey

“All of a sudden you’re like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I’m going through.” R Kelly on facing charges relating to child pornography. I reckon Gary Glitter’s got half a clue too.

“I’ve got taste. It’s inbred in me.” David Hasselhoff

“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” Arnold Schwarzenegger

And although it’s from a few years ago, it’s well worth reminding ourselves exactly how stultifying out of touch Mariah Carey is: “Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

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