Interview with Keith Lemon

BATD ON Aug 19, 2009 AT 2:38 pm

Keith Lemon

Keith Lemon

Love him or hate him, Keith Lemon isn’t going anywhere, just like Avid Merrion, he seems to be hanging around like a whiff of cheap aftershave. Try as we may we can’t help but laugh along to his random one liners and often offensive gags. Keith is fronting the TacheBack campaign this September to raise money for the Everyman Male Cancer Campaign. So sit back and read on for Keith’s wise words of wisdom.

So Keith, what makes a real man?
To be pecific, or frank, or pecifically frank, if we’re looking at it scientifically I suppose it’s having balls and a tallywacker. But it takes more than just being able to go to the toilet standing up to be a real man. Being a real man is knowing how to treat bang tidy birds, knowing where your local IKEA, Homebase or B&Q is. And lastly but not leastly it’s about having a ‘tache and that’s why I am urging men to look like me and grow a ‘tache to raise money for male cancer research! That were a long answer wasn’t it?

Why do you think TacheBack chose you as their ambassador?
‘Cos I’m cheaper than Owen Wilson, who a lot of people say I look like. But he hasn’t got a ‘tache. And I say cheap, I’m not getting paid to do this ya know! I’m doing it out of the goodness of me heart, for the sake of mankind. I’m very much like a locket me. I’ve got a hard exterior but I’m soft and juicy inside.

Keith Lemon fronts the TacheBack campaign

Keith Lemon fronts the TacheBack campaign

What inspired you to first grow a ‘tache?
I can’t remember really I’ve had one since I was eight years old. It looks nice, don’t it?

What traits make up a “bang tidy” woman?
Nice pair of bangers, lovely set of gebs, ghostbusters or whatever the kids are calling baps these days. Pretty face, lovely bum, brown legs like hot dogs. Not too brainy so I don’t look daft when we’re having serious banter, ‘cos I don’t know owt about politics and stuff. And not too tall. I like spinners, me!

In one of the videos you filmed for TacheBack, you say DIY is one element of being a “proper man”. Have you had any DIY disasters?
No I’m pretty good at DIY. It’s one of me main primary skills. That and break-dancing. Back in the past I used to be the best break-dancer in Leeds!

How often do you check your nether region to make sure you’re in good nick?
Every day and I don’t check it, I get a bang tidy lass to check it with her mouth. Just kidding. I do check ‘meself before I wreck meself’ though!

What exciting things does Keith Lemon have in the pipeline for fans to look out for?
I start on a movie on me life which will be released early next year and more Celebrity Juice with Holly and Fearne.

What makes you laugh?
Dogs on skateboards.

If you had to relinquish one, which would it be: the hair on your head, or your ‘tache?
What’s relinquish mean. Is that a sex act?

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