Men, What do they know?

Mimi ON Jan 23, 2009 AT 10:19 am

Adam Woodyatt

Adam Woodyatt

The Woodyatt Paradox
By Iain Laurie

Many stars of TV and film complain that their real selves often get confused by the public for their onscreen characters. It’s easy to see why; they look and sound so alike. I sometimes wonder what sort of lives someone like a soap actor must lead. Imagine being, for example, Adam Woodyatt aka Eastenders’ Ian Beale. He spends most days of the week pretending to be Ian Beale, thus he is obnoxious, rude and repulsive (especially when trying to be romantic/happy/amused/pally/sexy) and has been for more than twenty years. It is my understanding that Woodyatt himself is a terrific man of wit and discretion. But imagine if you had to deal with him in the pub or post-office, you’d be forced to regard him as Beale. His pasty, sallow features and nasal cockney whine would instantly inspire the same contempt with which his co-stars treat him several nights a week.

Adam as Ian

Adam as Ian

But there is an upside to this confusion between the fictional and real worlds. What if you are on the opposite side of the ‘Woodyatt Paradox’? What if you’re a real-life moron who gets to play a nice person onscreen? The public will treat you favourably, believing you to be the same person as your popular alter-ego. It is my opinion that Jennifer Aniston is the beneficiary of exactly this phenomenon. We all know her as ‘Rachel from Friends’. I think she even knows herself as ‘Rachel from Friends’ when you consider her film roles which tend to be more or less ‘Rachel from Friends’. This is fine, we liked Rachel. She was a bit of a bitch but she was cute, sassy and independent and Aniston played her with a great deal of humour and charm.

Jennifer Aniston and John

Jennifer Aniston and John

So we go round assuming that Aniston also boasts these qualities. But what if she doesn’t? And what if we’re not the only ones she’s hoodwinked? Brad Pitt, that builder from Essex and now John Mayer might have each reckoned they’d shrewdly snaffled ‘Rachel from Friends’ only to find out they’d actually bagged some jealous, paranoid, insecure tyrant. They thought they were getting a fit, famous and loveable film-star when really they were getting Kim Jung Il. Once they had discovered the deception all these men tried to swiftly take their leave, although it looks like Mayer needs to get more cut-throat if he wants to escape permanently. Brad Pitt even had to enlist the services of the apparently ruthless Angelina Jolie (a woman who might actually be very nice but, due to the unhinged nature of many of her onscreen roles, may suffer on the bad side of the Woodyatt Paradox) to break him out.

I could be wrong and Aniston maybe a lovely woman, in fact I’d like to take this opportunity to invite her to prove to me that this is the case. But maybe the string of men that have walked away from outwardly Hollywood’s most eligible female star should teach us to look beneath the surface. Perhaps the best way to find out is to set her up with Adam Woodyatt and if Woodyatt, like so many others before him, tries to flee her despotic regime, we’ll have our answer.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Comments are closed.